Why do you feel all warm and fuzzy when a 2 year old says "I Vuv You". Incase you did'nt already get it, thats baby talk for "I Love You"
People say "I Love You" all the time. Do they really mean "I love the way I feel when I am around you"?
A mother says "I Love You" to her kids. A child says "I Love You" to the father. Friends, cousins, soul mates and lovers say it to each other. Ironically, so do stalkers, desperados and the crazies who won't let go.
But what do they really mean. What do you really mean when you say "I love you" to someone and why do you say it. Why does it evoke such craving for more. Why do some even go nuts in its pursuit.
For, such a meaning must convey such varied emotions, apply to all ages, a range of relationships and be applicable to states of mind as different as day and night.
The search for a universal meaning for those 3 words together eluded me for while.
The definition of the word 'love', according to the dictionary, an intense feeling of deep affection, a person or thing that one loves, to feel a deep romantic sexual attachment. But none of it explained all.
And then I pondered the why and the how I feel when I say that to someone or when someone else says that to me. Why do people crave it. Even get obsessed and addicted to it. It made more sense.
It seems to make sense for all the times and places when people say those words. People want to feel good about themselves, have a good self image. And if people feel that way when they are with someone, it only makes sense that they want more of that feeling.
So now I think, when someone says those three words "I Love You", what they are really saying is "I love how I feel when I am with you".
Quite a few people pointed out or argued that this was a very selfish perspective. And that love is selfless, giving, unquestioning and boundless in nature and more.
I just wanted to clarify that I don't disagree with these characterizations of what love is and what it is capable of. I have no doubt they are all these and possibly more. When you wonder about something like love, the answer you get also depends on the question you ask. I was merely trying to ask the why?
Like a child, I kept asking myself, why? why? why? at every answer or reason I came up with, and this process kept returning to the self, the how or why the self felt the way it did. Returning to ones own heart.
This may sound clinical and unromantic at first, to look at it from this perspective. It doesn't change the fact that the person that is the object of one's affection is the one that makes you feel and want to be a better person, a better mother, a father or a friend. It doesn't take away from it the fact, there are some innate or hard earned qualities about that person that makes you feel that way. That the way you feel may even be the emotional price you pay for those qualities.
But its undeniable that the why, eventually kept me coming back to one conclusion. That when we say "I love you" one really means "I love who I am and how I feel when I am around you"
People say "I Love You" all the time. Do they really mean "I love the way I feel when I am around you"?
But what do they really mean. What do you really mean when you say "I love you" to someone and why do you say it. Why does it evoke such craving for more. Why do some even go nuts in its pursuit.
For, such a meaning must convey such varied emotions, apply to all ages, a range of relationships and be applicable to states of mind as different as day and night.
The search for a universal meaning for those 3 words together eluded me for while.
The definition of the word 'love', according to the dictionary, an intense feeling of deep affection, a person or thing that one loves, to feel a deep romantic sexual attachment. But none of it explained all.
And then I pondered the why and the how I feel when I say that to someone or when someone else says that to me. Why do people crave it. Even get obsessed and addicted to it. It made more sense.
It seems to make sense for all the times and places when people say those words. People want to feel good about themselves, have a good self image. And if people feel that way when they are with someone, it only makes sense that they want more of that feeling.
Quite a few people pointed out or argued that this was a very selfish perspective. And that love is selfless, giving, unquestioning and boundless in nature and more.
I just wanted to clarify that I don't disagree with these characterizations of what love is and what it is capable of. I have no doubt they are all these and possibly more. When you wonder about something like love, the answer you get also depends on the question you ask. I was merely trying to ask the why?
Like a child, I kept asking myself, why? why? why? at every answer or reason I came up with, and this process kept returning to the self, the how or why the self felt the way it did. Returning to ones own heart.
This may sound clinical and unromantic at first, to look at it from this perspective. It doesn't change the fact that the person that is the object of one's affection is the one that makes you feel and want to be a better person, a better mother, a father or a friend. It doesn't take away from it the fact, there are some innate or hard earned qualities about that person that makes you feel that way. That the way you feel may even be the emotional price you pay for those qualities.
But its undeniable that the why, eventually kept me coming back to one conclusion. That when we say "I love you" one really means "I love who I am and how I feel when I am around you"
No comments:
Post a Comment