Fear and the Fiery Want

I've been meaning to start writing this blog for a long time. Opened the account almost 9 months back, but never got around to writing anything. 

The blog was supposed to be a critical analysis of the mind, its thinking, how it perceives the world but more importantly, the totally and completely insane ideas I come up with to experiment and torment it with. :-)) As if life doesn't throw enough curve balls already. Totally Nuts!! I know :-))

I seem to always have my foot perennially stuck in my mouth. Its life as usual :-) 

I had one of those moments a while back and started writing. 

Thats when I realized I had the perfect post to start my blog with. 

Relationships stump us all the time. How we perceive and deal with them in our minds is a live experiment of its own, that deserves analysis. I realized that this is hugely significant because how we perceive it affects how we deal with it. And how we deal with it, positive or negative, has a potential to affect a lot of people around us in vastly significant ways, some near and dear. 


So here it goes.

When faced with a relationship decision, and you find the person wonderful in many ways yet thinking I could be get hurt or worse hurt that person, I've found it to have one of two root causes.

Either, I don't really have the spark or passion for the person. I call it the Fiery Want. In which case its best I remained just friends with that person. Its normal and no offense to the person. There are many wonderful people in this world, we may not have that spark with everyone. This doesn't make them any less wonderful. And relationship requires that spark and a lot of fiery Passion with a capital 'P'. But this is also the easiest to recognize. You will find that you think about this person more often than anyone else. And it will bring that warmth of thought that no one else will and you absolutely love spending time with that person, more than anyone else. The key is to give it some time and let the relationship hit some rough spots as well to make sure the 'P' still burns strong.

This feeling is not  a unicorn. It really does exist and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

We've all been there at one point or the other. And sometimes we miss out because the world truly connives against us :-)) and other times our own mind connives against us, aka, because we were "too afraid" of the type below.

The second type of "too afraid" was really fear. The primal kind. The kind that clouds your judgement from within. It distorts your view of things that may be right in front of you. And stops you from recognizing the passion and spark that I describe above. Passion that you really might have for someone but can't see past your fears. This is the worst of the two. Because, it makes you practically blind. 

You could have all the spark and passion in the world for someone. But if you are too blinded by fear and anger to recognize it, its as good as you didn't. Its actually even worse than that. Because the passion and spark you may have for someone is very obvious to that person, even if it isn't to you. And it can confuse, mislead  and hurt that person even without you intending to.

Where am I going? 

There is this very happy child in a play ground looking to have some fun. But she trips on a rock and hurts herself. Weeks pass by, the physical wounds have healed. And she is back in the play ground wanting to have some fun.  But she doesn't see the playground, or the other kids playing hula hoops, or those jumping ropes or playing 7 stones. The child is too angry, afraid and busy arguing with the rock that hurt her, that all she sees are rocks all around, coz thats all she is looking for now.

We all get tripped at one time or the other in our lives. 

We get up and dust ourselves off.

We then have 2 choices. 

Look for rocks OR have some fun :-))