Mushroom, Chicken Rice, with bacon, brussel sprouts and paneer, wrapped in Collard Greens

Ingredients

• 2 tablespoon olive oil
• 1/4 teaspoon of ground Sichuan peppers, ground to a powder
• 1/4 teaspoon all spice powder
• 1/4 teaspoon cloves, cardamom and cinnamon powder
• 1/2 teaspoon of jeera powder
• 1/2 teaspoon of fennel seed powder
• 2 spoons of chili powder
• 1/2 large onion finely chopped
• 1 can of chicken
• 6 pieces dried mushrooms
• 1 teaspoon of ketchup
• 2 teaspoon of sriracha sauce
• 4 slices of cooked bacon, finely chopped
• 1/2 cup cooked rice
• 1/2 cup paneer(cottage cheese) chopped in small pieces
• 5 teaspoons of grated asiago or parmesan cheese
• 3 large collard green leaves

1. Start with heating a pot. 
2. Add oil and heat. 
3. Add all seasoning powders and cook for a minute. 
4. Add chopped dried mushrooms and fry for a minute 
5. Add onions and fry for 2 minutes. 
6. Add 1 can of chicken after straining the water. 
7. After a minute add cooked bacon. 
8. Add the stem from the collard greens finely chopped.  
9. Add finely chopped paneer
10. Add left-over cooked rice and mix well
11. Switch off heat. Let it cool down for a few minutes
12. Add one egg and grate some asiago or parmesan cheese. Mix well and keep aside
13. Take the collard green leaves, without the stem.
14. Add the rice mixture into it and wrap it, holding with a tooth pick.
15. Sprinkle Salt on the collard green wrap.
16. Steam or Bake. Place in steamer and steam till the collard green is cooked well and soft but does not break apart. OR Place in a baking dish drizzle some oil over it and bake it at 400F for 30 minutes.  

Avakkai Apple Thokku

Ingredients

• 10 Raw Apples, preferably the very sour kind
• 1 cup Mustard Seeds
• 1.5 - 2 cups Spice Red Chili Powder
• 3/4 - 1 cup Salt
• 1/4 cup Turmeric Powder
• 1/4 tablespoon Asafoetida
• 3 tablespoon Fenugreek(Methi) Seeds
• 2 cups Sesame Oil
• 1/3 cup of Whole Garlic Cloves, Optional
• 1/2 cup Lemon Juice, needed if apple is not sour enough

Method

1. Adjust number of apples depending on size. Grate the apples, roughly, with the skin. Use a grater with bigger holes and not the fine ones.
2. Lightly toast the mustard seeds along with the fenugreek seeds for a few minutes in low heat and grind to a fine powder. This powder can be stored for later use if there some left after making the pickle.
3. Bring Oil to Medium Heat in a thick and deep pot.
4. Add the Garlic
5. A minute later add Asafoetida, add the grated apples, powder that was ground above, chili powder and 3/4 of a cup first of salt.
6. Let it fry for 5 minutes
7. Taste. 
• It should be spicy. 
• Check for salt, very mildly salty is good, but then salt is always a personal preference. 
• It will have a bitter bite from the mustard/fenugreek powder, but the bitterness will fade as the pickle ages in the fridge.
• Check for sourness
8. If salt is not sufficient, add as needed.
9. If sourness does not come through, add some lemon juice as needed.
10. Cook for an additional 15-20 minutes
11. Reduce heat to low-medium and slowly cook until all of the below happens.  
• The mixture reduces down in volume and thickness reaches Thokku consistence i.e a lightly thick paste
• The oil must separate out
• The water in the mixture is almost completely gone. Specially if you don't plan on refrigerating the pickle
12. Turn off heat, cover and let it cool down naturally.
13. Stores in glass jam jars, preferably refrigerated.  

The key to taste is aging it for a few days so the bitterness wears out.

The key to longer life when stored is 

• acidity from the sourness
• saltiness
• more oil, there should be a layer of the oil on top of the Pickle/Thokku when stored
• Making sure as much of the water has been cooked out. I tend do reduce it in the oven for a few hours, occasional stirring, for longer shelf life. 

This goes well with 

• just plain white rice
• curd rice
• as an accompaniment for dosa, idli
• as a spicy spread with mayo on sandwiches 

The Good Fart Day - Celebrating a Healthy Colon - May 14th

I hereby proclaim that May 14th, shall hence forth be known as

The Good Fart Day

A day that celebrates a healthy Colon and guilt free farting.

Here is a verse that says it all

The Theory of Farts

டர்ரும் புர்ரும் நிர்பயஹ,

(darrum burrum nir bayaha)

(loud farts are not to be feared)

குய்யும் முய்யும் மத்ய மஹ, 

(kuyyum muyyum madhya maha)

(medium sounding farts can be tolerated)

நிசப்தம் பிராண சந்கட்டி. 

(nisaptham praana sankatti)

(The quiet ones are life threatening)

This started of as my contribution to the ridiculous list of days celebrating all sort of non-sense.

Did you know there is World Cleavage Day. Really!?

How about World Naked Gardening Day.

But then I realized, If you have a breast cancer day, 

why not have a colon cancer awareness day.

But what a boring name.

So I decided to call it the 

"Good Fart Day"

So how about we celebrate our fine asses, by drinking to it, reminiscing on all the ass jokes that we can think of, may be giving your digestive system a break, giving it a good enema, and making sure we give it the respect that it deserves.

An lets always remember, the ass hole is always in charge

"I should be in charge," said the brain , "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood , "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because Im responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum And insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood Was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss

The Moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work.... The ass hole is usually in charge

Lets keep him happy.

And so...... 

"Happy Good Fart Day"